It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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