We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
honey bunches of taint.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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