My room smells like vodka and shame
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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