my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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