he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
