A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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