I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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