Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to summon your inner elephant
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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