i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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