thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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