The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
