Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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