At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
