First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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