Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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