i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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