Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
