Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You were trust falling into bushes
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
