My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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