He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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