Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You're like the curious george of whores
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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