omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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