I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize