I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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