you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize