Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
