He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize