Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
