Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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