He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize