just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
