it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
