We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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