I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
