im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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