Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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