just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
