He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
