Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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