at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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