Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
