I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
