Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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