Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
