Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
