also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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