i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
