I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
