i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
