Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
