im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
