Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
