wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
