is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
