oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize