Where is the hickey?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
