I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
