direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
